Costa Rica

Well, this post practically writes itself. I slap a few pictures up here, give you a brief itinerary, and bada-bing-bada-boom* we're done. It'll be easier than coming up with an original metaphor to describe how easy this blog post is.

As you may recall from previous posts, my husband Shane and I went to Costa Rica. At his urging I only packed four books. After finishing one and a half books on the flight I got that panicky feeling you get when you remember that you left your toothbrush at home and what if they don't have toothbrushes there? What if the plane crashes? What if you're stranded on one of those islands made of plastic garbage floating in the ocean without a toothbrush? What if your teeth rot away? How will they identify your body without your teeth?

Then I remembered that Shane packed a few books of his own and I calmed down.

We checked into our hotel, opened the windows and...

Behold the majesty of Arenal Volcano

The picture doesn't do it justice because Shane and I are both lousy photographers. But trust me, it was a big deal.

We spent our first evening swimming and generally marveling at the fact that it wasn't cold. The sensation of not-coldness was stunning enough that it dominated our conversation for the evening.

And then there was the wildlife. It wasn't even that wild, it was just chilling by the hotel, no big deal. But to us we're all like "What is it? It's a wingless bird? Is it a kiwi? Why is there a kiwi in Costa Rica? Does New Zealand know that Costa Rica stole its bird?"

Pretty sure it's not a kiwi...but still suspicious.

And then there's whatever this is. Just a family of cute badger-like creatures with monkey tails. Wikipedia tells me that they are called Coati. 

Kind of like a red panda with an upturned snout.

So the next day we adventured out to a cocoa plantation to see how chocolate is made.

How do I get to the delicious chocolate bit?

Shane busted the cocoa pod open and revealed cocoa beans. After a fermentation process, grinding, mashing, and mixing, they will be dark and delicious. Shane drank some straight chocolate mixed with black pepper, chili pepper, and cornstarch. I had just a sip and it was a kick in the head. Apparently the royal family drank eight goblets a day of the stuff.

Cocoa pod full of cocoa beans

Then we went down to a nearby town for some lunch. It was beautiful and very tourist friendly. However, the nice men with guns won't let you into a bank unless you have your passport with you so we weren't able to withdraw the local currency. Everywhere we went they took dollars but using colones would've been cheaper.

I ordered bottled water and something prepackaged. Shane ordered a meat sandwich. Shane lived to regret that decision.

The lovely little town where Shane ate a demon sandwich.

I've never had food poisoning in a big way. I once drank milk that expired a day ago and I had to lie down for the afternoon. That's about it.

So you can imagine my alarm when my husband violently retched into the toilet at 1 AM. The vomiting I understood. The shakes and chills I did not. I looked up the symptoms on WebMD and concluded that he had a rare strain of malaria--something that's still a danger in CR--and I was ready to take him to the hospital. He told me to give him some more time to recover. I bit my lip and imagined what my life would be like if those were the last words he ever said to me.

Two hours later the demon sandwich was done with him, leaving him sleep deprived and weak. The force of the projectile vomiting screwed up his back in a way that took weeks to recover from; but that didn't stop him from hopping in the saddle the next day for some horseback riding.

His horse had the crazy eyes

And then there was the zip-lining over the jungle...

Superman.

And then down the waterslide...

Seriously man, this is vacation. Take a break.

And then that same evening we hiked up the volcano.

This volcano is serious business. It's been quiet since 2010, but it once killed 87 people.

The next day we spent five hours on a shuttle to the beach.  By the time we got there we were exhausted. But at least we made new friends...

Lizard friends.

Our new hotel was right by the beach, but we had to walk up and down a killer hill to get there. Between that and all the travel we were pretty beat. So after playing in the ocean for a while we sat on a bench in the shade. We sat and watched the waves. And sat. And sat. 

Around noon we went back to the hotel for a siesta. I slept for hours while Shane watched the fifth and sixth Harry Potter movies in Spanish.

At last it was time to leave, but not without one last look outside our balcony.

For the record, I read all the books I packed and then most of the books Shane packed as well. Good day reader.

*"bada-bing-bada-boom" makes me feel like an old timey salesman.  Simply saying "boom" would've been shorter, but it makes me sound like a dude-bro.